Saturday, 4 February 2012

The lesbian experience of a wedding fair!

With some aspects of wedding planning, being in a lesbian relationship has led me to feel I am on the edge of this crazy wedding world, peering in. Sometimes I feel like we are accepted because it is now illegal not to accept us, but that really, it is different, this isn't a REAL wedding. But I suppose tradition is a fairly hard thing to change, and a wedding is so ingrained in people's minds as being between a man and woman, that it will take time for the world to revolve to be inclusive of all relationships and marriages.

Attending a wedding show is just once such example. We booked tickets to the National Wedding Show at the NEC, Birmingham with enthusiasm for all the lovely suppliers we were going to be able to meet, and for the promise of cake (who can say no?!) and discounts on lots of things. Wedding Shows feature loads of suppliers-florists, venues, photographers, venue dressers etc under one big roof, and the National Wedding Show is one of the bigger wedding fairs. It is definitely worth a visit, but go prepared...

***Suppliers at these fairs are well known to be quite..grabby. Not literally, but most will try and call you over and engage you with small talk whilst trying to get you to buy their products.

***You will collect hundreds of leaflets, some people take mini wheel along suitcases to carry them all!

***As you walk round, everyone will ask "so which one of you is getting married?". It would seem that despite walking round, holding hands, and looking very much the couple in love, nobody seems to gather that you are marrying each other. For the first 20 or so times we very patiently explained we both are, to each other. After this point it gets more than a little frustrating!!

*** We seemed to encounter three quite distinct reactions when people gathered we are a lesbian couple...
1. Embarrassment or obvious distaste, suddenly less keen to talk to us or in our worst case scenario, walks away.
2.complete indifference, doesn't mind you are gay at all and carries on completely normally
3.complete overcompensation, which seems to always contain the phrase "'oh! What a lovely idea!"err, no, lesbianism isn't some idea we had one day cos we couldn't find any nice boys!

However, despite being dropped directly into the centre of heterosexuality, we really did meet some wonderful people. People who really understand that love is love is love, it comes in all shapes and sizes, and that we really don't want to be treated any differently just because we are gay! We got some brilliant ideas for flowers, cakes, favours and invitations, saw lots of dress ideas at the catealk shows, and met a very inspiring photographer who will hopefully be capturing our day. And honestly, it was so much fun! We have the ability to turn any situation into a great big giggle, and this day was no different. Wedding fairs are complete wedding overload and complete heaven for super excited brides to be!

We'd suggest that the best time to visit these fairs is just after you've booked your venue, that way if you want to book any suppliers there and then (you get discount!) then you have your date. Though if you don't have your venue booked, it's a great way to collect a plethora of information about suppliers that you can look back at after you have booked your date. Most of all, have fun!


  1. Great post! We run I into these issues as well and always get the question "which one is the bride?" :)

  2. Gosh I can imagine how annoying it must have been to keep explaining that you were getting married to each other but it is great you met some lovely people.....
    Sounds like you have got plenty of inspiration from the day xx

  3. Wow, the fair sounds a little awkward - but good you got something out of the experience!!

    Laura xo

  4. We tried to book a trial hair appointment at a salon in our hometown; the hairdresser looked confused for a second, then beamed (cue sigh of relief) only to excitedly exclaim in a thick Polish accent "You're best friends, yes? And both getting married on the same day, yes? How lovely!"

    We scurried out of there and hired a professional mobile wedding hairdresser...

  5. Lol! We've had the 'oh how nice you have the same wedding date' comment too! S xx


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