Saturday, 10 March 2012

Memories of a lesbian wedding, Part 3

From the moment you meet your 'one', the one who you will spend your forever with you, and particularly from the point of your engagement, you build
together so many hopes, dreams, and expectations for your wedding day and married life. But does the reality live up to imagination?
We decided to find out! In the third of a few posts written by lesbian couples who we asked to tell us about their marriage and/or wedding, we speak to a couple who are six months in to their married life, and ask them how it has shaped their relationship...

Emma and Lucy Bailey-Wright, 23 and 26, have been together for five years and married for six months.
Emma is a student nurse and Lucy is the manager/director of a youth theatre company.

1. How did you and your wife meet, and what was it you liked about each other?

We were both members of Stage2 youth theatre, and through working together on a variety of shows, workshops, trips and social events we became good friends.
We became closer on a trip to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2006, and we became a couple at the beginning of 2007. We both made each other laugh and realised how many interests and viewpoints on life we shared. When we realized that we couldn’t put the phone down even after talking for five hours, we knew that we had found someone special to enjoy interesting and refreshing conversation with.

2. What made you decide to get married?

Somehow, from the very beginning we had discussed baby names and marriage! We always knew it would happen between us one day. After Emma moving away for three months, her return to Birmingham felt like a stretched elastic band had sprung back.
We decided to move in together in spring 2008. At that time, with Emma starting a
new University course and Lucy still developing her directing career we needed to become more settled before becoming officially engaged. By Summer 2010 our relationship had become so strong that it was inevitable that one of us was going to ask the big question soon!

3. Who proposed and how?

On yet another trip to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2010, we both bought matching
rings with an intertwined heart design. Nothing was said at the moment of purchase but we both knew these would be the symbol of our engagement!
Lucy pocketed these rings with a plan. On a brief escape from the bustling city to a countryspa retreat, Lucy asked the inevitable. Emma (annoyed that Lucy had stolen her thunder!) interrupted her proposal with “of course I will!”
It was now 100% official that we were engaged! Despite months of knowing it would happen, the days after felt incredible and the planning began immediately!

4.Tell us about your wedding day!

The planning, shopping, treasure hunting and creative decision-making process was something we really enjoyed! We were both secretly beaming with pride when our wedding venue representative said that we were tithe most organised couple they had ever worked with! So…
The Theme was tea cups and tea parties.

We had a blue and gold colour scheme with splashes of teal, cream and grey.
We decide to greet our guests at an afternoon tea party on the lawn of the Diglis House Hotel in Worcester. 

The tea party was a lovely way for our guests to meet each otheragain, as our families live all over the country. We had hired and borrowed teacups that matched the blue and gold theme, and our guests could choose their favourite design and eat strawberries, dainty cakes, scones (with home made jams, Wright-Raspberry, Bailey-Blackcurrant and Honey-moon) all made by our parents. 
This really helped maintain the relaxed atmosphere and reduce the pressure and drama of walking down the aisle as we had already seen our guests, had a drink, cakes and strawberries and relaxed.

The teacup theme continued with our necklaces, having two teacups made of icing as our wedding cake toppers, our rings being presented in a teacup and the table decorated with teacup candles and flower displays. Our handmade blue and gold bunting,self arranged flowers and fairy lights decorated the venue adding to the theme.
What did we wear?

We both knew we didn't’t want to wear white or the same dress, and as we were hoping for sun on August 31st, we looked for light, full-length dresses that had complementing colours, fabrics and design. Here they are!

We had stayed at thehotel overnight so we could do our own hair and make-up and get ready in our own time. We wore little blue flowers in our hair, with petal confetti added after the ceremony!

The ceremony

The day was quite intimate with about 40 of our close friends and family. During the ceremony we recited our selected choice of declarations, pledges and vows, and Lucy surprised our guests by singing to Emma (which was a beautiful moment!)

After photographs and some nap-time for Emma’s brother (!) (time for watching the river with a drink for everyone else) we sat down to speeches from our Dads and the happy couple! We then tucked into a yummy three-course meal before dancing the night away and sharing our tea-cup-topped cake!

It was the best day we could have ever had hoped for - we wish we could do it again! (so do lots of our guests!). We were really lucky with the weather and beautiful sun that set as we declared our love in our speeches.
Our faces hurt from smiling all day, and we were surprised with some photo-montage boards that our families had made of our lives up until this point.
We chose to have the whole day in one venue where our friends and family could stay over, and we all enjoyed breakfast together the following morning watching the river Severn.

5. Have your family been supportive?

Yes, we get on with our families really well. Our parents were hugely helpful in their input to the big day, and it was great to introduce each other to our extended families.

6. Do you feel anything made your civil partnership different to a wedding, or do you think society feels it's different?

We think of ourselves as a married couple, we changed our names to double barreled. When organizing it no one made it seem like anything other than a normal wedding, but we didn’t deal with many standard wedding organisations.

It’s much easier to say “We had a wedding and got married last year” rather than “We had a Civil Partnership and got Civil Partnered last year” as it just doesn’t sound right! And there has been some confusion when telling some people who we’ve had to spell it out to, so choice of words has been quite important as some people genuinely have never heard of Civil Partnerships and we have had to explain it to them.
 As we both work with a lot of new people all the time, we are often explaining our marital status – we have only had positive reactions but a lot of people ask us to explain as they have never met a couple in a civil partnership before. Having always been in a relationship since Civil Partnerships became legal in 2004 we have always know it has been possible to get married.

7.How has marriage changed your relationship and you as people?

We wear rings, have the same name and have been given a lot of teacups as presents!
As we lived together before, our situation hasn’t really changed, but we feel so much stronger as a couple and it feels like we have a really firm foundation for starting a family. Our relationship has always moved forward, but now our future and prospects seem more secure. We’ve always felt like a couple rather than two individuals, but now we have officially acknowledged it in front of everyone who is important to us.

Thank you so much to Lucy and Emma for sharing their beautiful wedding-we loved the tea theme!
Our favourite thing about hearing about other couples weddings has been how special making your wedding personal to you makes it, and that's definitely the case with Lucy and Emma. We wish them a very happy marriage and the best of luck with starting a family :)

Follow Lucy and Emma on Twitter at:

1 comment:

  1. Another great wedding story! Loved the teacup theme! xox


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