Right, so, Responding to a consultation in England and Wales, the Church of England said government proposals to allow same-sex marriages by 2015 would "alter the intrinsic nature of marriage as the union of a man and a woman, as enshrined in human institutions throughout history". Right, great, the message is quite clear; as written in Leviticus 20:13 "if man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." OK so we get it, two men shouldn't be having sex, it's wrong.
So let's just briefly consider the context in which this exact phrase was written. Was it written for life in Britain, 2012? No! It was written for priests in Israel, and was meant to hold them more accountable than other priests, in places such as Greece, where homosexuality was practiced, celebrated and enjoyed as a healthy part of a man's life.
But hang on, argues the Church, just because it is taken out of historical context, morally it is still relevant to life today, we should not go against the teachings of the bible just because we no longer live in the era in which it was written.
Fine - no problem, we'll apply all of the prohibitions to modern day life and see where we end up. In the exact same chapter of the bible, 'Leviticus', it is quite clear on how we should live our lives. Let's have a quick look and see how many of them the Church are jumping up and down screaming that it still applies to modern day life -
1) No wild haircuts
2) No tattoos
3) No wearing of mixed - fabric garments (silk tie on a cotton shirt? How dare you!)
4) No eating or pork, or shellfish
5) No playing of football except on Sundays
6) No use of leather for wearing of garments, including shoes
So as long as you are a man and a woman, neither of whom have tattoos, silly haircuts, have ever worn leather or mixed fabrics, eaten pork or shellfish, or played football on a Sunday then the Church will marry you. Great, that narrows down the population to about four. BUT, the Church argues, you are taking those statements out of historical context. Oh wait, isn't that exactly what they are doing with gay marriage?!
Here are a few more passages from the Bible, just to highlight that yes, we should indeed apply these to modern life. Just like homosexuality, please remember to always apply these prohibitions to your life today. And if you don't, then you are going against God's will, and shall not be accepted into that magical kingdom of heaven...
- If no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be bought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death (Deuteronomy 22 : 20-21)
- Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. Divorce is not permitted. (Mark 10:1 - 12)
- If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have sex with each of his brothers in turn until she bears a male heir (Mark 12: 18 - 23)
- If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them tries to rescue her husband, her hand should be cut off (Deuteronomy 25:11 - 12)
So are we all agreed? The bible should be strictly at adhered to at all times!