Saturday, 8 February 2014

I love my wife because...

Here's one of those "I love my wife because…" posts. Because I know how much fun it must be to read them… well, I like writing them anyway!

So this stems from something that happened today, that left me a little bit overwhelmed by how much I love my wife. She is absolutely everything I want and need in my life, and sometimes that realisation hits me with such force I don't know how to process it. So of course, I write a blog post about it.

On Monday night I started to feel a bit unwell, a bit rundown, under the weather, but nothing a good night's sleep would solve. So I was in bed and fast asleep by 7:30pm, after a really long and hectic day. Since receiving my promotion at work it has been nothing but hectic days, so nothing usual there. However when I woke up bright and early on Tuesday morning I felt like utter rubbish - sore throat, sore head, muscles in my body ached that I didn't know existed, and I was shivering from cold even though I felt like a radiator to touch. Illness. It rarely happens to me, but this time I hadn't managed to escape with a bit of a sore throat and a headache, the lurgy had gotten me good and proper.

Despite it being her day off, and despite it being 6am, my wife got up, got me medicine, made me tea and a hot water bottle, and spent the next few hours cuddling me and talking to me about all kinds of nonsense before I fell back to sleep. This cycle continued for the next few days, she looked after me so brilliantly, she really is amazing.

This morning when I woke up I felt better, so decided it'd be a good day to go back to work. So got up, washed, dressed etc, and headed in to the office. My manager, relieved to see me back, and ignoring the fact I still sound like Deidre Barlow who has smoked a dozen fags in a row, jumped at the chance to fill me in on the past few days, and also give me an enormous list of tasks that HAD to be finished by the end of the week. Also known as the end of today. So my planned hour or so catching up in the office turned into another full-on, hectic day at work. This morning, Sarah & I had discussed going shopping later this afternoon. I had said I'd go into the office, show my face, catch up on emails, and then come home and spend the day with her. On returning home after what turned out to be at least 5 hours of madness, she asked me if I still wanted to go. Not wanting to let her down and waste yet another of her precious days off by being ill I said yes, of course.

And then IT happened - the thing that made me realise just how lucky I am to have this incredible woman in my life. She hugged me, and then looked at me and said "I love you, but you need to stop kidding yourself that you are well enough to do anything right now". I protested and said I was, I wanted to go out, whilst secretly feeling like death warmed up. So she put the kettle on, drew the curtains, ordered me in to bed, told me that I needed sleep and rest and that she didn't want to go anywhere with someone who couldn't stop coughing and who looked like a ghost anyway. She allowed me to be ill, something I refused to allow myself.

You may well think "well what has this got to do with how much you love her?" Well the thing is, she knows what I need more than I know myself. She allows me to be sad, allows me to be ill, allows me to be myself, when I won't allow any of those things myself. A little while ago I had to tell my life story to a group of new people (in turn they each told theirs), and I told the group that upon meeting this amazing girl I had found the confidence to be myself, because she allowed me to be just that. And today, when I so desperately wanted to be a good employee, a good wife, she allowed me to just be ill. And protected me enough to show me that that is OK. It really got me thinking how you can love someone, and they can know you really really well, but what sets her aside from the rest of the world is her ability to know me more than I know myself at times, and to see what I need when I can't even see that myself, ow when I can see it clearly and point blank refuse to acknowledge it more like!

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