Since that moment in Iceland I have been looking for ways in life to re-create the deep sense of peace I felt. I am the line manager to 15 people, the named midwife for 28 women, a daughter, wife, sister, mummy to Willow. This is not an unusual story, I live a very usual life. But that does mean that pretty much all of the time, someone wants something from you, or you want something from yourself. I have an ongoing narrative in my head, compiling to do lists, analysing situations, remembering things that have happened, it is there as I close my eyes at night and there first thing in the morning. Other times I have a dialogue that never seems to end, with those around me. Please, I am not complaining, I am so very happy in my life, and so grateful for those I share my life with. But sometimes, you just want to 'be'.
My wife discovered the 'headspace' app whilst we were planning our wedding (when your mind really does go in to overdrive with to-do lists!) and we have both used it on many occassions. It helps you to completely shut off, to listen to what is around you and not to the narrative in your head. In fact I listened to it as I got into bed the night before my wedding, and it helped me to switch off about the next day. But I wanted to be able to achieve the same outcome for myself, not needing to rely on a voice on an app to tell me what to do.
|There is little else I want to achieve in life|
I don't know what prompted me to write all of this down in a blog post, maybe it's just to read back and remember, if I do fall out of the habit again, that you don't need to be anywhere special, or be doing anything really significant, just to take a step back, a deep breath, clear your mind and breathe. There is peace in all of us, all around us, we just have to remember to notice it.