Saturday, 16 August 2014


TTC…apparently the accepted abbreviation in Internet world for trying to conceive.

It has been a while since we wrote about our baby making journey! Not because we aren't excited or because nothing is happening - just because we have been rather pre-occupied with writing about our amazing trip to the USA! Meanwhile, we have been attending appointments and getting really, really excited that we getting ever closer to being in the physical process of making us a baby. Wow!

The last part of the story was this…
"Sarah's FSH is high, which meant one of two things - polycystic ovaries or reduced egg reserve. A scan two weeks later confirmed polycystic ovaries. This rules her out to egg share on the NHS, but our Consultant suggested we pay for a private test of AMH. AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) gives a more accurate picture of fertility, as it is a hormone that is released by immature eggs. So high FSH + low AMH would  = very few eggs. However we then got Sarah's AMH level results back, and they are off the chart high! Meaning quite the opposite - she has loads of eggs! Well, loads of immature eggs. The concern now is that even though we can't egg share (donate half of her eggs to an anonymous recipient who needs donor eggs), we still have the option of straight forward IVF with partner - to partner egg share (see how this all gets tangled up in your brain?!), but with her results she is at great risk of ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome, and producing lots and lots of eggs that are all quite immature and so wouldn't be able to fertilise.

So we are going ahead with our appointment at the private clinic, and the appointment is the day after we get back from America. At that appointment we will both be re-scanned (all of my results have been as normal as normal can be so far), and the results of the scan in conjunction with the AMH result already taken, will give us a definite answer. However we have pretty much set our minds on just using my eggs. "

So that's exactly what we did! We landed at 23:30 on Monday 14th July and at 11:30 on Tuesday 15th July we attended the private fertility clinic about an hour's drive from our home. First up were our scans - seeing your insides on an ultrasound screen is an odd experience! Mine showed my lady bits are perfectly healthy and fertile, with 10 follicles on one side, and 12 on the other. Sarah's however showed an unusually tilted womb, and a total of 78 follicles!! Then the nurse looked through all of the results we had already had taken at the NHS clinic. And we got what we were really hoping for - a definitive answer - we can't use Sarah's eggs at all. The risk they would be taking is too high and we are not prepared to risk the health of one of us to achieve something that doesn't matter at all to us anyway. Especially when there is never any guarantee it would work, and is more likely to work with me using my eggs. Decision made!

So the next step was to talk us through what is involved in the process. I had to have my bloods taken just to check that my AMH was neither too high or low, and then our file would be passed on to a consultant who would either accept me or not for treatment. And that was that, we just had to go home and wait for them to call me. 

We came home very happy and relieved to finally have an answer - we don't care about biology, we really do just want a baby. It is a shame that Sarah won't physically play a part in the creation of our child but she is SUCH a huge part of it in so many different ways - emotionally and mentally, that it doesn't matter at all. Of all the lesbian couples with children we know of, either online or in person, all of them have a bio mum who gave birth to them and a non bio mum who obviously didn't, and we never for a minute have thought of them being anything less than equal in their roles of 'mum'. The other exciting thing for me was that they recommended I commence folic acid, as it is supposed to be 3 months prior to conception. Wow, this is all suddenly got very real!

We were also amused, as were most people, by the recent Daily Mail headline along the lines of "Sperm bank for lesbians, paid for by you' and how this would thus create a epidemic of 'fatherless families'. We were particularly interested as the article is regarding a new sperm bank at the hospital Lauren is a manager at, and where we have had fertility related tests. As we have discussed previously here, IVF, or any fertility treatment including donor sperm is not free for lesbians, and still isn't following the opening of the new sperm bank. You can only apply for funding if you have a fertility problem - this goes for all couples and single women, regardless of sexuality. And no, lesbianism isn't a fertility problem! The sperm bank is for lesbians…its also equally for heterosexuals and bisexuals! We are of the view that a child is a privilege not a right, and would never expect free treatment. We also wish the Daily Mail would stop printing such ridiculous anti gay headlines - some people are silly enough to believe them!


  1. Exciting! Are you planning to egg share or just bog standard IVF? x

  2. We were originally planning to do partner to partner egg sharing but this isn't possible due to S's fertility problems. We may still egg share to an anonymous recipient who needs donor eggs though. X

  3. Yeah. My wife is donating half of hers anonymously. It is a great gift and I guess a great risk too in case she doesn't get enough eggs. She had 24 follicles so hoping they will each grow an egg! x

    1. I'm sure you have the choice of keeping all the eggs yourself if they don't get enough for both of you, obviously you then have to pay the full amount though.
      And a friend of mine ended up with 3 eggs and only one suitable to be implanted back, and is now 20 weeks pregnant from it, so I guess its true - you only need one! Best of luck to you both :) x

  4. Yep. If you get less than 8 you get a choice but if say we got 9 then we would only get 4 eggs and recipient 5 and no choice of a free cycle, so guess you just have to hope for best and it does just take one! Good luck too x

  5. Very informative. Thank you ladies x


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