Friday, 13 March 2015

A tiny step closer...

We often get emails asking about baby making updates, and for the past few months have had to reply with 'nothing to report yet I'm afraid'! As my job has been so unsettled and we have needed to wait for the storm of the past few months to pass. Well we are so happy to be able to write that it really has started to pass. I am reluctant to say it has gone never to be seen around here again, but we are certainly feeling more confident in looking to the future.

And for us, the future is primarily focused on one thing at the moment…baby making!

Given that we wanted to actively avoid a Christmas baby (or January baby for that matter, just in case), we always knew that if I wasn't pregnant by the beginning of this year, we would wait until the summer. And then out of the blue the fertility clinic rang, just to ask for an update, and to ask if we were still happy to proceed with starting treatment in May. Yes, I said, that's fine, we are all on board with that plan.

So Sarah got home from work that evening and I was telling her about my conversation with the clinic and it hit us both…hang on a minute… that is TWO months time!! TWO MONTHS! Holy guacamole!  This is all getting a bit real once again!

The IVF nurses wanted to check that we had our plans set for donor sperm, and that there wasn't anything that could hold us back to begin in May. This included my weight being low enough (something they are very strict on), and that I've started taking folic acid again (I hadn't, but I have again now!). But as for donor sperm, we haven't really got any plans.

As we have previously written about, you really have three options where sperm is concerned;
1) use a known donor,
2) use a UK based sperm bank (usually attached to the fertility clinic)
3) import from Europe or the USA.

We were very happy to use the bank based at our clinic so rang the donation manager to check we were still at the top of the list. She explained we are, but that they don't have many donors at the moment. In fact, they only have one. He is 6foot tall, white British, very dark hair, olive skin, and his father is Greek Cypriot. Now I'm sure a blue eyes, olive skinned baby would be utterly gorgeous…but would look like neither Sarah or I. So we have moved on to looking for a donor from Europe. There are two big banks in Europe, Cryos and the European Sperm Bank, and our clinic work with both. So our next job was to sit and trawl through the hundreds of profiles, choose our donor, and then ship his spermies over to the UK in time for our treatment!
As the sperm is to be used in the UK, it's a legal requirement that the donor is non-anonymous. This narrows our choice down to around 40 donors, and after we had added filters for sperm that has been tested to UK standards, plus biological and physical requirements or preferences, this left us with just one. And he seems perfect! He was actually Sarah's first choice, before we realised he would be our only choice! So who knows, it could be fate.

Since the conversation with the clinic I have been giddy with excitement! Once again our future tiny person has become the focus of our conversations, texts, and dreams. Little girls often dream about their wedding day as they grow up, I dreamt of becoming a Mummy. After finding my one true love, having a baby with her is all I've ever wanted. Could my dream really become reality after all?!

Well, we seem to have done okay with this little bear!


  1. Exciting times. Look forward to following your progress xx

  2. Wow - seems like we might be along side one another, we should be starting our IVF within the next month or two!

    We have an appointment tomorrow, I was under the impression there would be loads of spermies to choose from at our clinic, you've worried me now though, I've just added 'How many donors do you currently have on your books' to our list of questions for our appointment tomorrow!

  3. Are you cmv- or +? Lauren is cmv- which narrowed it down quite a lot. We also didn't want anyone tall as we aren't, or anyone with dark hair/eyes/skin as we are both fair! Luckily lauren is average height with blue eyes and auburn hair so hopefully or egg sharing match will be easier! Best of luck to you guys :D
    Sarah xx

  4. I just saw this - I guess blogspot and wordpress don't talk to one another! I am cmv+ which is good (only learned what this means at last weeks appointment!) - Doc said they have around 60 donors on their books so hopefully we'll be lucky to have lots of choice. We're looking for very average dark hair blue eyes fair skin so shouldn't be a problem!


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