Tuesday, 9 June 2015

What are you waiting for?!

There are very few people in real life who know about our IVF adventures. My Mum, my cousin, Sarah's Mom, both of our best friends…that pretty much sums up the list. There are a few people who know that we will be trying at some point in the near future, friends, a few colleagues, our Dads and brothers (who, let's face it, don't want or need to know the ins and outs of us pro-creating, but will be over the moon when we have succeeded!). But of those who do know, one question seems to circulate around us a lot at the moment…what are you waiting for?

Now I wish, when you decided to make a baby in a lesbian relationship, it was as easy as for (some, not all of) our straight counterparts. I really, really wish it was. But no amount of reading and understanding can prepare you for the waits that can be involved in fertility treatment. The only one who really gets it is my cousin, having been through all of this herself, and then the incredibly long and frustrating adoption process too. Some people are lucky, and are matched to sperm and egg donors very quickly, but this isn't always the case, and hasn't been with us! There's the initial wait for the initial appointment, then the waits to get through the various hurdles of blood tests, scans, counselling, all of which take time and often revolve around your period dates. Then you get the go ahead for treatment and you have to wait to be matched to a sperm donor, particularly as there are so few in this country. Or like us you decide you've had enough waiting and import it from abroad. And then, if like us you want to egg share, the longest wait of all is often to be matched to an egg recipient. Luckily my fairly normal height / weight / eye colour / hair colour meant we were matched fairly quickly…twice as it turned out…and then, finally…after all this waiting and waiting you are given a date to start, your drugs arrive, everything is looking peachy…and your period fails to show up.


My cycles are normally fairly regular, but this year have been so irregular. Typical. But the one time, the ONE time I wanted it to be on time was for us to start our IVF cycle. But nope, it's late. So that's what we are waiting for. I'm afraid to say we are waiting for the monthly visit from the period fairy to happen, and THEN we can get on our way! We believe things are meant to be, and our delays have meant we have been on holidays we otherwise wouldn't have, and that ! changed to an awesome new job. So in the meantime we have a holiday abroad to look forward to next week (and I can drink cocktails until my heart's content if I wish!), so hopefully the time will go quickly and being away means we will be completely de-stressed and ready for the treatment to begin.

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