Wednesday, 25 November 2015

Our pregnancy diary - 9wks - 1st midwife appointment

19th - 25th November 2015

weeks pregnant

Symptoms: The morning sickness persists! Some days it's just constant nausea, other days its violent and recurrent sickness - it tends to be worse in the evenings.

Our baby: is officially now a foetus rather than an embryo. They now have earlobes, wrists and ankles!

Our baby is the size of: a grape or olive

We both had the weekend off together, so decided to spend Saturday doing all things festive! We ventured into our local city centre of Birmingham, our first stop of course being Starbucks! Happily, Lauren's morning sickness has subsided enough for her to enjoy a soy gingerbread latte - yay!

Our next stop was Christmas shopping. We were super impressed by how festive the Birmingham Bull was looking - he sported a gingerbread man costume last year, but how sweet does he look as an elf?!

 We are actually very much on top of Christmas shopping for once, I'd say we're probably over half way done! It helps when everywhere is so twinkly and pretty, and we made sure to go and look at our favourite lights, in Selfridges - so beautiful!

Next stop was the place every born and bred Brummie, including us, have a love/hate relationship with - the German market! It gets so crowded, to the point where you can be shuffling along crushed into people on every side, but it's not Christmas unless you've been! The shopping part is usually more frequented by tourists, whereas Brummies who have seen the same stalls over and over go straight for the food and drink. We just enjoyed wandering around and soaking up the lovely atmosphere - it was too crowded to get food, and the drinks are mainly alcoholic so a no-go for Lauren (and me, out of solidarity!). It was such a lovely evening, the market and Victoria Square, where it is partly held, hold such wonderful memories for us, both as a couple throughout the past 11 years, and childhood memories before we met!

After a lovely festive evening, we returned home and lit some of our Christmas candles! We are surprised to see how many people already have their tree up as we thought the general consensus was the 1st December! We are usually made to wait before decorating our tree until after Lauren's mums birthday at the end of November, but we usually sneak a few candles and decorations in!

Monday afternoon was our first midwife appointment, which we had at home. Although Lauren is a midwife and has done dozens of booking appointments for women, it was exciting for us to have our own! The appointment is mainly checking medical history, and for the midwife to fill in your 'green notes' (or 'pregnancy notes'). She also covered what Lauren couldn't eat during pregnancy (which she already knew, but we had googled to double check!), and info on free prescriptions etc. She also informed us of the free NHS antenatal classes available to us, but we are considering looking into NCT classes. The midwife was really lovely, and we enjoyed the afternoon! We did notice upon reading back through our notes afterwards that there were a couple of sections the midwife had marked as 'discussed' although she hadn't. One of these was 'sex in pregnancy' which I found interesting - we wondered whether as the midwife knew of Lauren  she felt awkward discussing the topic with her, whether she assumed Lauren knew the information so it wasn't necessary, or whether she felt awkward/uninformed discussing it with a lesbian couple. Even a simple sentence of "it's perfectly safe to continue to have sex in pregnancy as long as you both feel comfortable" would've covered it OK! 

On the other hand though, we were very relieved to see absolutely no awkwardness or hesitation when discussing our donor. When going through our medical history, the midwife simply asked how much we knew about the donor's history and family, and if there were any inherited conditions that she should be aware of. By the very nature that he is a sperm donor means he is free of all possible inherited diseases, but it was great to be able to discuss this with her without any awkwardness from any of us. It's also good to see that I am referred to as Lauren's next of kin and partner throughout the notes, and that they include "civil partnered" as an option for marital status. In the 'relationship to woman' box, the midwife didn't even ask before filling in "wife".

When we approached the question of where we planned to have our baby, for now we are leaving it open, but with the loose plan of a home birth. In order to have a home birth you need to be considered low risk, which currently Lauren is, but we are equally aware that things can change a lot throughout pregnancy. We love the idea of being in our home, meaning Lauren is far more relaxed and comfortable, and can move around and find her space in labour. We plan to explore hypnobirthing, and Lauren is looking in to pregnancy yoga, both of which will equip is with the resources for a strong and peaceful labour and birth. But at this stage it is far too early to make such plans. For now, we are just so excited that we are about to enter Week 10, it's gone so fast! And in two small weeks we will be having our next appointment - our 12 week scan!

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